Why is it that I always seem to be stuck in the beginning of getting healthy and never in the “in progress” part?

Of course I know the answer, I just don’t like it.

I keep “forgetting” to eat properly. Today I’ve had:
Staff appreciation breakfast - eggs with cheese, potatoes, French toast, croissant, and muffin
Lunch - mushroom melt and chocolate shake
Snack - BBQ chips

And then there’s the things that I let derail me. Most recently it was a minor injury and a cold.

I honestly have no idea how to stop letting these things happen. I think I’ve had a “wake up call” that will finally be the tipping point I need, and two weeks later I’m back to my old habits.

Tipping Point Reached

Yesterday I reached, what I believe to be, my tipping point.  That one moment that everyone seems to have when they finally come face-to-face with their mortality and commit to getting healthy.

I’ve written here before about the heart palpitations I’ve had during exercise.  And sometimes my heart will begin racing very suddenly, making it hard to breath and I feel like I’m about to pass out.  I have to stop whatever I’m doing and wait for it to return to normal, which it usually does fairly quickly.

Yesterday, my heart started racing again.  Was I jogging on the treadmill? NO.  Was I doing an intense Zumba wii routine? NO.  Was I jumping around like a crazy person doing Plyocide? NO.

I was walking down the street.  Strolling, really.  I wasn’t walking fast.  I wasn’t in a hurry to get anywhere.  I had gone about 3 blocks.  I tried to slow down, but it didn’t help.  Eventually I just stopped and leaned against the side of a building until I felt better.

For a few minutes I was terrified that I was going to have a heart attack.  And since then, hopefully just because I’ve been thinking about it constantly, my heart has felt a little funny in my chest, a little heavy.  I’m constantly checking my pulse to make sure it’s even.  It’s been a while since I’ve had a physical, so I made an appointment today for March 19.  I plan on getting a complete work-up, and will hopefully be okay to participate in the April Beachbody Challenge.

Until April, I’ll stick to my walks/jogs on the treadmill.  I’ve switched my entrance in the Cherry Blossom race from the 10 miler to the 5k, because in my current shape there is no way I would finish 10 miles in the time limit they’ve set.

On a side note, I’ve lost 3.8 pounds since the last time I weighed-in.  That was surprising considering I haven’t logged my calories for a couple of weeks and I’ve eaten pretty much whatever I wanted after Mr. Kitty passed (including ice cream and m&ms).  And I’ve only worked out about 4 times in the last 2 weeks.

This will probably get maudlin and won’t be 100% about weight loss

I haven’t exercised since last Thursday.  Friday was a rest day.  Saturday morning was dentist and grocery shopping.  Saturday night was trying to get Mr. Kitty to eat something. Sunday was the vet trying to save him.

I’ve never lost a pet before.  But, then again, I’ve never had a pet (other than some gold fish) before.  I was completely unprepared for what happened on Sunday, and I know that Tony was as well.  Tony had Mr. Kitty for almost 10 years, I was only around for 2 1/2 of those.  I’ve heard so many stories of cats living until they’re 20, and I just assumed that’s what we’d have.  Kitty had never been sick before. Christmas year before last, he was throwing up a lot, but then we realized he was eating the tinsel off the tree. Take away the tinsel and he was all better. 

And now I just can’t seem to muster the energy to care about working out. I’m okay when I sleep, but then I wake up and there’s no meowing and pawing at the door to get me up.  There’s no one almost tripping me as he darts in front of me on the stairs.  No one sitting in my lap right now begging for ear rubs as I type.  This morning I come downstairs to the kitchen and see that Tony has removed the mat that we used to put his water and food bowl on.  And I start bawling again.  

It’s not like I lost a child, but I imagine this is pretty close to what that feels like. I just don’t know how to get back to normal.

Still no p90x for me

I’m scared to start back up with p90x2. I have such a low pain tolerance and don’t want to ever feel that hip/leg pain I had this weekend again. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill this morning, and now that I’m moving around and getting ready for work I’m getting these twinges and short bursts of pain that make me catch my breath. Why won’t it just go away and leave me alone?

The story of why my p90x2 journey has been postponed a few days

Saturday morning: get up around 9am to do Plyocide before we leave for our Valentine’s weekend. 30 minutes in to the workout, I land on my wrist doing some crazy burpee and bust a blood vessel. I slightly freak out. Then calm down when it doesn’t swell to the size of a baseball.

Saturday afternoon: we stop at the movies on our way to Annapolis to see Safe House. Really good movie. And it’s snowing when we leave! Arrive at our hotel for the night, rest, then get all fancy for dinner. Tony gave me a beautiful watch.

Saturday night/early morning: woken up by loud teenagers at 2am. Finally go back to sleep and am woken up by a fire alarm!!! at 6am. No fire but we have to wait outside until given the all clear.

Then the bad part: I notice my right hip starting to ache as we go back to the room for a few more hours sleep. Manage to fall back asleep and wake up around 9am. At this point, I can barely walk due to the pain in my hip. I’m in tears trying to shower and can only wash my upper half since I can’t bend over without pain.

Instead of getting to shop in beautiful historic Annapolis, we head back home first thing. I take some extra strength ibuprofen and lay on the couch all day. Luckily the pain had faded some by Sunday night. I’m still feeling some aches and twinges, but nothing like on Sunday.

I walked on the treadmill this morning to test out my hip and it didn’t get any worse. I think I’ll try p90x2 again in the morning, but at half speed. I still have no idea what caused the pain. Was it something I did during Plyocide that didn’t show up until later? Was I so out of it when the alarm went off that I twisted my leg without realizing it?

Plyocide cut short

Halfway through my workout this morning, I felt a pain in my wrist, right under the band of my new heart rate monitor. Doing modified frog burpee extremes (or whatever they’re called), I must have landed on my wrist and busted a blood vessel there.

I was a little worried because of that slightly important vein there that can kill you. But the swelling seems to have stopped at a small blue bump. Not life-threatening. If its anything like the busted blood vessels I’ve had in my fingers before, I’ll be good as new in a day.

It sucks not being able to do a complete workout though. I’ll have to make up for it tomorrow, when we get back from our early valentines celebration in Annapolis.

A list I’ve been working on for a while now

Reasons I Want Need to Lose Weight and Be Healthy

*Some of these are completely shallow, but they’re still important to me.

1. To stop changing out of my work clothes in the living room to avoid the stairs
2. To stop postponing doing the laundry to avoid having to carry baskets of clothes up and down two flights of stairs
3. To stop feeling uncomfortable during sexy times with my husband
4. To not be so tired all the time
5. To reduce the risk of chronic diseases like heart disease and diabetes, which I already have a genetic predisposition to
6. To get excited about a baby in the future, without worrying about having the energy to devote to playtime
7. To actually enjoy shopping for and trying on new clothes
8. To improve my outlook on life, and not feel on the verge of depression all the time
9. To build my self-confidence and not feel like my weight is an obstacle to the things I want in life
10. To no longer dread every doctors visit and what he or she will say about my weight
11. To let out the active, adventurous, fun-loving person living inside of me
12. To be more comfortable getting outside my box and experiencing new situations that I avoid now
13. To feel comfortable in a bathing suit
14. To participate in all of the races (and collect all of the medals) that I always wanted to do but was physically incapable of
15. To live life to its absolute fullest.

P90X2 Days 2-7, Week 1

I think that, instead of spamming your dash with daily posts of every little exercise I did that day, I’ll do weekly posts of what happened during my P90X2 one-hour (and more) torture sessions.  Just kidding……no, really, total torture.

Gratuitous pic of a pug, with a little torture included.

Day 2 - Plyocide

Before I started this workout, I looked everywhere for the worksheet so I could keep track of reps, weights, what I suck at, etc.  As soon as the workout started, I realized why there isn’t one - No breaks to write anything!

This one was hard for me because, since high school (maybe before), I’ve had heart palpitations when I workout too hard (doc said it’s just because I’m out of shape).  I’ve also had instances when my heart starts racing suddenly, to the point where I feel like I’m about to pass out. The only thing I can do then is to stop and put my head between my knees until I calm down.  Now I know that this also happens when I am doing an exercise that requires me to bend or squat low, then stand up with my arms over my head, with or without weights.  So things like Set, Sprint, Plank, Plyo Jump just weren’t going to happen more than about one time. 

Day 3 - X2 Recovery + Mobility

I did not have a foam roller for this day, so it was basically a lot of stretching and some yoga.  This day was a godsend.  I was finally able to work out some of the soreness from days 1-2.  I enjoyed be able to do slower, more methodical movements, instead of going as fast as possible for an hour.  This may be what enables me to stick to this for the long haul - the variety in type and speed of workouts.

Day 4 - X2 Total Body & X2 Ab Ripper

Total body involved a lot of pull-ups.  Pull-ups that I am unable to do even a little bit.  Luckily we have a Perfect Pull-Up bar on the bedroom door (that was placed there before my time or it would have been relegated to the basement with the rest of the workout equipment).  I did the weakling pull-ups where you lower the bar and have your body at an angle.  It’s kinda like up-right girlie push-ups.

The Ab Ripper section felt like it didn’t really work my abs.  But that was only due to the fact that my abs are complete flab and I needed my upper thighs in on the action to even attempt the exercises.  Next time I’ll focus more on utilizing only my abs.

Day 5 - X2 Yoga

This was one of the hardest yoga routines I’ve ever done.  I’m not the most flexible person, but I’m not a novice when it comes to yoga either.  15 minutes in to the 73 minute routine, I had to do child’s pose instead of downward dog because my wrists and elbows were aching.  I ended up sweating as much during this workout as the Total Body and Core workouts.

Day 6 - X2 Balance + Power

It soon became painfully obvious that I have very little balance - especially when the exercise called for standing on one leg and hopping around.  I can barely jump with both feet involved.  I really pushed myself during this workout, since I didn’t want to slack off and then get frustrated for not seeing the results I want.  As a result, when the “bonus” exercises came at the then, I was totally spent and just sat on my stability ball watching them do Dumbbell Super Burpees.

Day 7 - X2 Recovery + Mobility

I finally have a foam roller!  Oh dear lord, it was so painful, but in a good way.  I stopped this workout about 15 minutes early, to give my body a little rest.  

Final Thoughts on Week 1

I think I will be sticking with Phase 1 for a full 6 weeks.  This is the phase that is supposed to create a foundation for the other phases to build on.  I’m having to modify so many of the exercises in this phase that I’ll need the 6 weeks to feel comfortable move on.